Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Motivation … the lack of thereof

I feel like I owe you (my readers) as well as the people around me an apology. It seems that I’ve been possessed by a parasite of some sort. A parasite that just sucks all indications of motivation from my life … no matter how miniscule it may be.

It’s an overall type of state that I am experiencing. A state that I simply do not like being a part of. It has affected my hobbies, my weight loss journey, my work, and everything in between. No, I don’t think I am depressed. I do still feel joy, etc.

As I am typing this, perhaps it is the overwhelming projects / goals that I am working on that is finally taken its toll on me.

Money – The Hubby and I are still living paycheck to paycheck with some luck thrown in as well. Everything that we bring home is put towards the household bills. We only have a few small luxuries that we are trying desperately to hold onto. However, it is proving more difficult as the days / weeks go on. We just hand to pull out of a trip to the Apple Festival in Biglerville, PA. This is an annual trip (a tradition) that we have made for I don’t know how many years. Yet, we are not able to go this year for the money is needed elsewhere. On top of the bill struggle, we have a mountain of debt that we need to take care of that was only exuberated by the unemployment.

Weight loss – I’m afraid that I simply have started going in reverse in this area of my life. Over the last month, I have gained weight. (Can someone please tell me why weight gain can’t go at the same pace as losing weight?) Why? I can’t seem to keep myself motivated in following the WW guidelines. Most likely it is stress eating but that is no excuse. I’ve been working on this part of my life with WW for a number of years. You would think that it would be more of habit than a hindrance. However, it seems that my food desires/cravings overrule my thoughts.

Work – My employers are in the process of switching over to a new system to run our day to day duties with our customers. I’m in the process of switching over the accounting portion of the business to this new program. Frankly, I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel. Not only that but I also feel a bit alone in this pursuit because I’m the only person in the accounting department. Don’t get me wrong… the management tries to help but it doesn’t seem quite enough.

This post is whinier than I had planned it to be. I just wanted you to know where I stand right now in my life. I do have a plan to get out of this “funk”. I am setting myself small goals each day to accomplish. I am hoping that completing these small goals will help jump start the rest of my life. After all, October is supposed to be a happy month for me with our wedding anniversary and my birthday coming up.

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