I am so tired.

I’m not simply talking about wanting to head back to bed… although that sounds simply delightful right now too. I’m just plain tired and I’m having trouble holding myself together.

I know that having money doesn’t solve everything. At least, I know that in my heart but right now my head I am thinking it will solve a whole hell of a lot in my life. I am tired of wondering where the money is going to come from for the next set of bills.

I am so tired.

This feeling is starting to penetrate into the other aspects of my life. Hmm… I guess that is not being completely honest. Please strike the word “starting” from that previous sentence. This feeling has been seeping in for some time.

I can hardly drag myself out of bed in the morning. I am getting up as late as possible but still manage to get to work on time for the majority of the days of the week. I am eating whatever I want without keeping in my mind the consequences of said actions.

I can not even remember the last time that I had an optimistic thought.

I am so tired.

I can not describe it in any other way. The Hubby just prefers to ignore the situation that we are in. He hopes that some day the magical world of a great economy will open up and offer us a brilliant job that will solve all our problems. Perhaps this could happen… I doubt that it is going to happen anytime soon. I’m worried about the now for honestly, it is too difficult to think about the future.

I need to find a way to get out of this funk.

I’m simply tired of being tired.

Keeping in touch

I am positively terrible with keeping in touch with my friends and family. It is not done intentionally. However, it seems that life just passes by way too quickly. I will remember in the morning that I need to call this person, this person, and that person for I haven’t talked to them in a long time… then as the day goes on, I forget about it until it is too late at night to do it. So, I make a mental note to do it the next day … and then the cycle repeats itself over and over until weeks have gone by. It is not something that I am proud of.
To try to make myself feel better, I go into the self defeating attitude that they could also reach out and contact me just as easily as I could and they don’t. This is absolutely horrible train of thought and I usually do a mental slap on myself.

So, along with getting myself back on the weight loss track (not doing too bad) and off the snooze button habit (not going so well), I would like to make an improvement in this area as well.

I am not quite sure how to do so … without making an impersonal checklist. I really don’t want to do that for it will seem more like a chore than something that I would like to do. Make sense?

How do you remember to keep in touch? Do you have some tips and tricks?



(And for those that haven’t heard from me in a while… I’m sorry!)

Hi. I'm a snooze-a-holic.

Okay... didn't fare so well with Day 1 of my separation from my snooze button.

I started off well. I did set my wake up time to be the time that I needed to get up. However, due to a fitful night of sleep, I hit the snooze button this morning. Needless to say, I started off a Monday running around like I was a chicken with its head cut off.

Simply not good to start off such a morning that way ... let alone a Monday morning.

Here's to Tuesday!

Good news though - I had a splendid weekend at home this past weekend. I was able to finish up a Christmas gift project. I caught up with laundry. Heck! I even folded and put the clean laundry away. I also was able to stay on the WW plan with the expection of last night's meal. Not too shabby if I say so myself.

Snippets!

Snooze button – Friend or Foe?

If you are anything like me, you purposely set your alarm earlier than you need to so you can hit the snooze button. At first, it seemed like decadence to have that extra nine minutes of “sleep”. Now, nine becomes eighteen becomes twenty-seven minutes… next thing you know, I am jumping out of bed… quickly fixing my hair in hopes that it is not too obvious that I didn’t hit the shower that morning… in order to get to work on time. It is no longer decadence but a hindrance to a smooth running work day morning. The use of the snooze button is a slippery slope. This is one slope that I hope to avoid. Starting Monday, I am going to set my alarm to the time that I actually need to get up. No snooze button for me! Can you do the same?

Blast from the fat past

Our 15th anniversary from our alma mater is coming. It’s hard to believe that The Hubby and I graduated from college 15 years ago. So many things have changed during that time… and to be honest, so many things stayed the same. Obviously, our alma mater is starting to target our graduating class in efforts to attend the alumni reunion next summer (and also get donations too). Yesterday, we received a mailer to have us go to a “personalized” website about this reunion. Attending the reunion was already in consideration so I took a closer look at the mailer. (Normally, I would just throw it away). On the address side of the mailer, there are two small pictures at the bottom. I am in one of those pictures…. back when I had all my weight. Needless to say, I was somewhat mortified. To have that picture mailed out to everyone in our graduating class? Yikes! The Hubby suggested maybe that the picture was just picked to make the mailer more personal to us. However, I am thinking that is not the case… the other picture? Nothing to do with us.

Another year older

My birthday was this past Sunday. It was pretty low key birthday celebration, which I didn’t mind at all. After all, it was the Little One’s first trick n’ treating experience! For a while now, I kind of had been pretty lax on my weight loss goal. It really was too the point that I was feeling a bit of a glutton. I also have been playing Facebook games in lieu of getting stuff done around the house or spend time on hobbies. Basically, overall, I feel like I’ve been pretty lazy. With the new “year” starting, I decided to get myself back on track.

No plans and loving it

This fall, our social calendar has been quite busy. Although, we had a lot of fun and filled with great memories. I think we are ready to spend some quiet time at home. This weekend marks the first weekend since August where we have nothing (and I mean absolutely nothing) planned. We will be hanging out at home… wearing our pajamas… and catching up on TV shows. I have some minor choirs that I would like to get done but nothing too serious. In fact, we have nothing planned until Thanksgiving! Relaxing weekends, here we come! (Trust me, I’m sure I will be complaining about being bored or stuck at home by the time January comes around.)

Trick or Treat ...

This topic started out as part of "snippets" post... However, I found myself writing (aka bitching) more than just a mere paragraph so I decided it warrants its own post.

Are there polite kids anymore?

This year marked our first time taking the Little One out for trick n’ treating. She was a bit shy at first but ended up loving it. In fact, she still points out the different houses that still have their Halloween decorations up. I was a bit nervous on whether she was going to enjoy it or not.

At the first house… a child purposely runs up across a neighbor’s yard to get to the door in front of the Little One and I. Seriously? I highly doubt a 2 year old is going to take all the candy from this house. His parents stayed by the road and did not comment at all about how he barge in front of the little girl. Luckily, it didn’t throw Little One off too much. Thankfully, we didn’t have many more run-ins with that kid at the future houses.

After a while, we returned home to warm up and have pizza for dinner. Little One decided that she wanted to help pass out the candy now that she understood why these little costumed kids were ringing our doorbell. It wasn't too bad at first... then it turned for the worse. There came a point that I had to take away candy from a couple of kids. This is what happened: There was a group of four kids. The two teenage kids approached the door first. Little One and I put candy in their pillowcases with no problems. (Personally, I was just happy that the teenagers dressed up in costume). The other two kids from the group came up. I would say that they were basically 7 or 8 year olds. I held the bowl of candy low so that the Little One can put candy into the kids’ bags when the kids immediately pushed their way into the door way, pushing the Little One back, and starting grabbing handfuls of candy. I quickly started pushing back so that the Little One wouldn’t fall to the floor. At the same time, I took the candy out of their hands and said “That’s enough!” Seriously? The kids were old enough to have basic manners. Where were the adults? That visit really soured me. By the end of the evening, I was really bummed about passing out the candy. In the past, I looked forward to passing out the candy for I like seeing the cute / scary costumes. After this year, I was seriously considered not passing out candy at all next year.

Now, I think I am going to be offering tricks as well as treats. The tricks will go to the kids with no costume or just plain rude.

(I hope that it doesn't take much to clean up the toliet paper or eggs off the house... )

Ten years ago

Yesterday marked our 10th year wedding anniversary. It’s hard to believe that it has been that long. This anniversary seemed to affect me more than any other one.

I found myself reminiscing about the actual date. I wish I could remember where we stored our wedding video. A good friend of ours at the time personally filmed the ceremony. Although, he was not a professional video-grapher, it was such a kind thoughtful gift. It would be nice to re-live the day... and show it to our Little One.

Some of the events / memories of the day, I can still remember like it just happened yesterday. I remember the Hubby looking so pale during rehearsal. In fact, I remember the Best Man telling me after the rehearsal that if the groom is going to faint, that they don’t plan on catching him. I remember that our limo couldn’t fit the whole wedding party as we were driving from the church to a nearby park for pictures. It didn’t bother us… we made everyone squeeze in with us as if it was a big party. I remember that one girl totally knocked another girl in the eye with her elbow in trying to catch the bouquet... or how the DJ came with funny props for The Hubby to wear at various points of the reception. Unfortunately, I remember some of the mistakes that the hotel made in setting up our reception room… such as the tables were set up so that our wedding guests could see our backs rather our faces.

I remember bits and pieces of the ceremony itself, a ceremony that the Hubby wrote himself. I also remember him looking scared for I think he truly believed that I would change into this whole different person once we said “I do”. I also remember that our minister reminded me of Armin Shimerman (the gentleman who played Quark from the TV series: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine).

I also remember that we were completely sick with a cold that we got from our Best Man as we headed off to our honeymoon to Alaska & Hawaii. We probably could have fended off that cold if it wasn’t for the lack of sleep and partying that took place the days leading up and including the wedding date.

Most of all, I remember looking over the happy faces of our friends and family throughout the ceremony and celebration. I remember the smiles and laughter that filled the room during our reception… especially those that embraced the inner child and played with his/her rainbow slinky (the favors).

I know that we are not where we wanted to be at this time in our lives. During our honeymoon, we had promised to head back to Hawaii and re-live our honeymoon for our 10 year wedding anniversary. Instead, we are finding ourselves going out to dinner and a movie for our anniversary celebration. Marriage is definitely hard work. There is no denying that. Despite the curve balls (or heck, the strike-outs), I think we have lived (and will continue to do so) a good life.

Despite everything, I couldn’t ask for a better partner in life. And, I believe that he feels the same way about me.

So, here’s to another 10 years!

I'm a mother so isn't it my right to brag a bit about my child?

Often I find myself just simply amazed in watching my daughter and what she has learned over the last two years. I know that this is good ol' fashion mother-cheeziness. So, for the most part, I try to keep such thoughts or realizations to myself. I mean, who wants to hear about how one's kid can count to ten... or how she loves to sings with an inflatable microphone. There is only so much cuteness a person can take... especially when you are listening to stories about someone else's kid. I completely understand that!

However, I can't help but brag on how great my daughter did as being a flower girl in "Cinnamon"'s wedding! She walked slowly down the aisle with a big smile on her face as she dropped the petals on the ground. It was wonderful! The Hubby has a theory that the Little One knew how to do it all along and was only pretending during the practice runs to get the attention / treats. Who knows he's probably right!

Here is a picture during her big flower girl debut:

She absolutely loved getting dressed up, having her hair fixed, and having "make-up" put on. (The makeup artist used a clean brush on the Little One's face to make her feel part of the group.) I think I am in trouble for I am not exactly a "girly-girl". I'm not sure how I am going to parent a daughter who is into all this stuff on a daily basis!

Boston

In the midst of a busy social schedule, I’ll get a moment to breathe come November. Sorry that this post is a bit late … I was there back in September.


Personally, I love visiting this city. I can not really put my finger on one particular characteristic that draws me to this city. I love the history… the location… the people. Because of this and a good reason to escape for a day, I suggested this city for a bachelorette party for my dear friend, “Cinnamon”.

However, I must say that it was not really easy to plan such a trip in Boston. I found the nightlife rather limited. I guess Boston is definitely a city that sleeps. Mind you, I wasn’t looking for a place that we could all go and get completely trashed… if we wanted to do that, we would have simply go “bar hopping” in the area they called the “alley”. Nope, we were looking for other forms of entertainment.

Needless to say, we were able to figure out a great weekend for our bride-to-be and the gang. I wanted to give a couple special shout-outs...

• Cashunt (http://www.cashunt.com/) – Personally, I worked with Chris at Cashunt in an arranging a “Bridal Dash” scavenger hunt during the afternoon. The scavenger hunt targeted a one mile radius circle with the Faneuil Hall / Quincy Market area as its center. It was a pleasure to work with Chris and his team. We split up into two teams and busted our asses to try to be the winning team. Everyone had a great time!! What was also great was that I got to participate in the competition even though I am the person who helped set it up. There was only one out of the six categories that I (and the bride) had to excuse ourselves. I highly recommend this activity and this company!
• Atlantic Fish Company (http://www.atlanticfishco.com/) – This restaurant came highly recommend on a variety of sites. Our party went there for a very delicious seafood dinner. The staff was professional and courteous. They didn’t even give our bride a second glance when she walked into the restaurant in full bachelorette regalia. The food was phenomenal! I definitely plan on going back there again if I find myself in Boston again!

We also went to Dick Doherty’s Beantown Comedy Vault for some laughs. I must admit that I was a bit nervous when we arrived at the joint. It really looked kind of sketchy / dirty / small. The comedy acts that they put together were pretty decent. I honestly didn’t mind that our table was right next to the stage. Although, it would have been a lot more comfortable for me if our table was at least another ½ foot away from the stage. I ended up sitting in the chair closest to the stage. I knew that I would be an easy target for the comedians (which I didn’t mind) … However, it was hard to sit and be comfortable while watching them with my chair so close. I think I would go to the comedy club again… but request a table further from the stage.

The party / road trip has come and gone. I believe that everyone had a great time. We have some great pictures and memories from the weekend. What more could you ask for in a bachelorette party?

Expectations

Sometimes it is just plain hard not to hold someone up to your personal standards. I know that we were taught all along that each person is different therefore will react differently to situations. However, we are all judgmental for we know how we would act in a situation… therefore we expect others to act in a similar fashion.

For obvious reasons (such as keeping one’s sanity), you do your best not to expect someone to act like you. Now and then, you simply can not stop yourself. And, you find yourself genuinely surprised when it doesn’t go the way you expected.

Personally, I am kicking myself about with different people/situations lately. I shouldn’t let things get to me. But they are… therefore creating more anxiety or stress in my life.

It is my own fault. I know this.

For instance, if I say that I am going to do something… I tried my best to do it myself or at the very least make sure it taken care of.

Or if I say that I’m going to be better in responding back in a timely manner… then I do my best to respond back … even if it is just a quick email or text saying that I got your message and I’ll talk to you later.

Simple, right?

Camping… let the family drama begin!

Personally, I like to go camping. I do not get a chance to go very often. Other plans or lack of funds tend to get in the way of going camping. Not to mention, The Hubby? He is not a camper… or even an outdoor type person. That’s okay. He doesn’t stop me from going and I don’t make him go. No problem! Both happy campers (pun intended!)

My dad does go camping during the long weekends. So, the second year in a row, the Little One and I joined my side of the family for a camping trip over Labor Day weekend.

Now, technically, this trip was not her first camping trip. However, I do not think the Little One remembered too much of her first trip last year. So, she was pretty excited to be going on a trip with Mommy and sleep inside a tent! Here is a picture of her hogging the “bed” in the tent. Between her stuffed friends and herself, mommy barely had room to sleep! (Sorry for the bad photo editing… the picture was really dark and I severely lack in the proper photo editing skills.)

To be honest, I had a lot of fun hanging out with my brother and his family. However, I am internally grateful that my daughter was too young to understand the family drama that was happening around her. She didn’t seem to be bothered that she only got to see her Grandpa for like a couple of hours the whole damn weekend… since he decided not to join us at the last minute for the trip. She also didn’t seem to notice how dad’s girlfriend was annoying everyone around her by being so bossy or her lack of acknowledgment of other people’s plans or property. The Little One was completely enthralled with hanging out with “Uncle G” and his family. She had everyone on the campsite … heck! The campground even!... wrapped around her little finger.

I do think that The Hubby missed out on some fun memories though. S’mores ended up being a bust as far as the Little One was concerned. Roasted marshmallows were a bit too sticky / gooey for her tastes. Although, she did love to roast them (with mommy’s help of course) over the fire. She ended up eating the graham crackers and chocolate separately. It was also a great joy to see the look of awe and excitement in her face as she held her first sparkler. We couldn’t keep up with her demand of a new lit sparkler when the previous one died out.

Needless to say, without the stupid family drama, we had a wonderful time. Here is a picture of us after all our camping gear was packed up the next day.

Next year? Camping is definitely on the menu! Just this time, I am going to make sure that I am a primary planning person when it comes to these family camping trips. For next year, I’m sure the Little One is going to be old enough to notice this “behind-the-scenes” drama crap.

Oh, and I think I am going to see if I can get The Hubby to go at least during one trip… he just has to see her daughter in this environment/situations! Who knows! Perhaps he will like camping after all!

A Letter to a sales rep…

Yes, I understand that your lively hood is based on the business that you bring in for your company. I do not fault you for that. I’ve been there and understand the process completely.

Out of curiosity, I contacted you yesterday to ask for pricing on a custom company promo item. Yes, I’ve already contacted our usual vendor. However, I like to make sure that we get the best deal for our money. You promptly set up a meeting to meet with me this morning. Although I was not too happy about having a face-to-face meeting about this, it would give me an opportunity to see who I may be working with. So, I agreed to the meeting.

What a waste of my time. I find it highly unprofessional for you to make an appointment with me and not show up with the information that I’ve requested. It is a waste of my time as a consumer / potential client. You also use our precious time to make a sales pitch for a completely unrelated item for your wife’s business. It is obviously that you did not have a clear idea … heck! Even a basic idea what our needs are.

Then, you turn around and say that you might get the information to me by the end of the day… but most likely by Monday. Pointless!

Thank you for nothing.

My thoughts exactly…

Generally, we all find Monday’s a bit difficult to start off. No one really wants the weekend to end even though we like receiving the paychecks. Alas, when that alarm goes off, we find ourselves struggling to pull ourselves together.

This Monday was no different around my household. The Hubby and I both played a good bout of the snooze dance with our respective alarm clocks. Although, my alarm clock almost won this dance off since I apparently didn’t hear my alarm going off for the first 20 minutes…. Therefore, it threw off my snooze to wake calcuations off this morning.

I grudgingly got up and try to do something decent with my hair for work … the hair that desperately needs a haircut. Solution? I pulled it back into a hair clip. There…done …

Apparently, the “case of the Mondays” was contagious for my 2 year old too. I walked into the Little One’s room to start waking her up. Before I even turned on the light, she started crying / whining “no, I want to sleep”. I told her to go ahead and lay there while I pull out her clothes and clean her glasses. (It’s amazing how dirty her glasses get after one day. I clean the lenses every morning. That is beside the point). So she stayed in bed… and continued to whine. I eventually picked her up and gave her a hug. I carried her to the living room so that she can watch her morning cartoons and drink some milk. She was not too happy with that. She jumps off the couch and runs back into her room and goes to bed.

I simply couldn’t fight her on this… because frankly, I wanted to do the same damn thing that she just did. Although annoying and making me even more late, I thought it was rather cute. So, I left her in her room for a few minutes while I start getting dress. About mid way, I went into her room… she was still whining in bed. I push her pillow up to the head of the bed so she can sit up and have her milk there. Apparently a sippy of milk to her is equivalent of a cup of coffee for an adult. *smirks* I finished getting dress and the Little One hops out of bed with the normal enthusiam and happy go lucky self.

We all made it to our destinations this morning in one piece…. Even if it was a very sleepy… don’t want the weekend to end… piece.

How did your Monday start off?

Another week comes to an end...

Cooler Nights

The air conditioner does not work at our house… nor has it ever worked since we purchased the house. However, The Hubby and I have not spent money on fixing it. The area that we live in doesn’t have too many warm nights so it would seem like a waste. (Or, it could be just plain laziness in not wanting to research & hire HVAC mechanic… either way) This summer has given us a few pretty warm nights. Personally, I do not sleep well during these times despite the ceiling fan, the box fan, and the oscillating fan. I love to snuggle down deep in the comforter. So, I am really enjoying these few nights of cooler temperatures.

Adults evening out

The Hubby and I are heading out for an overnight stay for an evening wedding. Despite the fact that I am pretty sure that I am going to feel old (I’ve known the bride since she was 11 year s old), I am looking forward to this little get-away. What in particular? Getting dressed up, designated driver, seeing old friends, oh and getting to sleep in the next morning for the Little One will be home. Bonus!

Go ValleyCats!

The Hubby, Little One, and I went to a local single A baseball game this last week with some friends. It was good to get out for a good hometown fun. It was a nice night out weather wise… and the home team did a pretty good job. It was hard to see that the stadium took some money saving steps though. The food was sub-par. In my mind, it was a big mistake for us to have the stadium food for dinner. One friend bought a pretzel for $3.50 and it was ½ of a regular pretzel. You could see where they cut it with a knife. Despite the food, we had a good time so I’m sure we will go again before the season ends. Just note to self… eat before hand.

More Friday Randomness

Prayers to the God of Cars

This has been a rough week in my life … and my wallet. Our car (our only car) is starting to come to the point in its life that repairs are becoming more and more expensive. It is generally the point that the owner should look into buy a new car before dumping too much money into the old one. Alas, that’s not going to happen… hopefully our car will be a good car for a bit longer for we need more time to get things in line before a new car joins our family. Here’s to hoping and praying!

Musicals/Shows

I’ve been lucky to have seen several musicals / shows in my lifetime. Due to several factors, I haven’t been able to go to a show recently. One of the shows that I’ve had the privilege of seeing was Miss Saigon. I was lucky to see this back when I was in college on a school trip. I love this musical! I can easily say that it is one of my top shows I’ve seen. Why am I bringing this up? I’ve been hearing commercials that this show is coming to a locate theatre this month. To all my local readers, go see this! I am positive that you will like it too!

Turning a new leaf

Recently at work, my job duties turned the corner by entering into the new fiscal year. With that transition, I’ve been taking up this opportunity to streamline some stuff as well as general clean up on my desk. It seems to be carrying over to my life outside of work. I’m getting back on track with what I eat and soon exercising. We are working on getting our finances back under control by taking dramatic steps in getting rid of this debt once and for all. I think I feel more of a renewal with August starting than I did back in January with the actual calendar New Year.

Wedding stuff

It’s hard to believe that in less than 2 months, I will be helping/witnessing one of my good friends to walk down the aisle. I am getting so excited to see this special day! Yet, there is so much to do! This weekend, Little One and I are going to our first alterations appointment. Now that the dresses are here (and Little One’s getting made), I need to start shopping for shoes for the two of us! That is going to be a challenge! Also, with the bridal shower out of the way, we are currently working on the bachelorette party. I think it will do a world of good to have one small trip away with the girls to relax and have fun.

Late Summer / Early Fall Schedule

The Hubby and I realize last night that we are going to be extremely busy over the next 2 months. These months are filled with a multiple events that we are both very much looking forward to. We get to see a lot of long distance friends and family throughout our packed schedule. Can’t wait! I just hope that we are able to arrange our money and other resources so that we can accomplish it all.

And it's Monday once again...

I made it! And, I think without much damage ... both mentally and physically. :) I just have a little sunburn on my upper back. That's not too shabby!

A group of wonderful fun-loving women descended upon my house this past Saturday to celebrate the pending nuptials to our good friend, "Cinnamon". Games! Food! Great stories! We couldn't have asked for better weather as we celebrated on the backyard deck!

We only had one casualty... a beautiful pair of hot pink shoes were damaged in the line of fire. We will always remember the sacrifice that those shoes made for the Bride-to-Be. (I also think the store will also hear about the sacrifice since they were only 2 days old.)

I think everyone had to loosen up their waistline a bit for the delicious food. (I'm sorry that there is a lack of pictures. My camera is dying a slow and painful death.) I know that we are certainly enjoying the leftovers.

I can definitely tell you that the Rum Cake and the Italian Creme cake were a big hit. I highly recommend that you make them for your next gathering. You can not go wrong!

Here are the links to the appropriate websites:

Rum Cake - http://icuban.com/food/cake_ron.html

Italian Creme Cake - http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/07/billies-italian-cream-cake-recipe/


Needless to say, I had a wonderful time... and I believe that Cinnamon did as well.... it was well worth the work and the anxiety/stress that was involved. It was also wonderful to have the opportunity to finally put the "faces" with the names from hearing stories I've heard over the years from Cinnamon. I am very much looking forward to the big day!

Now bring on the bachelorette party!

A little bit awkward…

I must admit that I am feeling a bit awkward in writing on here today. I guess I was being a bit naïve about it. In my head, I knew that anyone would have the ability to read my thoughts or opinions entries (even if only a few). However, I truly believed that my reader(s) consists mostly my blog-reading friends and the occasional individual who is just trolling.

That belief bubble was popped a couple of weeks ago. I received a message through my facebook account from a person I haven’t talked to in 14 years. In the message, the person mentioned that he read my blog… and not only read the recent postings but apparently read the older ones too. I was caught completely off guard from hearing from this person. I thought I had lost this person completely from my life… our lives… when communication ceased a few months after my mother/his wife passing. So many feelings just started running through my head … old and painful feelings of my mother’s passing and the events that followed. I also felt relief to know that he was still alive and a little bit happy that he had reached out. I honestly thought that he wanted to forget that we were in his life.

I didn’t respond right away to the message. I used the excuse of going away for a lake house weekend retreat as a viable reason (if only in my head) not to respond right away… I needed to decide whether I wanted to “open a door or heck … a small window” in my current life for this person… I needed to decide whether to let my siblings know that he had contacted me… but if I am going to be completely honest, I must admit that a small part of the reason is that I wanted to make him sweat it out a little.

After the long weekend, I did reply back. And, now I wait…. It has been almost 2 weeks since I’ve replied back. I’ve heard nothing… and I am slowly coming to terms with that. I’ve been happy that I had decided to wait before telling my siblings. After all, why should I expose them to this emotional turmoil that I’ve been experiencing? During the day, it has been somewhat easy to push my feelings to the backburner for I have been so busy getting the bridal shower ready for my friend or working at this busy time at my job. However, the feelings of doubt, etc seem to crawl and slither into my consciousness during those few minutes before fall asleep or after waking up in the morning. I’m not sure how I am going to be once this shower happens and this busy time at work passes. Time will only tell.

I also realize that I haven’t written on here during this time period too. Again, I thought that I was simply too busy to do so… but that’s not the truth. The truth is that this blog is another window to my life (a very small hole but a hole nonetheless). I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue with this or not.

This morning, I decided that I do … at least for now. I am just not so naïve about the concept of it as I once was.

Friday Randomness

Because it is the Friday before a three day weekend, I can’t seem to keep my mind focus on any one thing for any period of time.

Five more minutes, please

Each weekday morning, I go into my daughter’s bedroom, flip on the lights, and start pulling her outfit out for the day. She will slowly wake up and become the little cherub that all 2 years old can be. This morning? She buries her face into her favorite stuffed animal, Dottie, and tells me “No, I’m sleeping”. *smirks* Like that that was going to work… silly girl.

Michael Vick

I won’t get into whether I believe he deserved what he got etc from the dog fighting and betting. However, you have to admit… shit seems to happen whenever that man is around... whether he is directly involved or not. If I was him? I would totally keep out of the clubs and sit on the big piles of money that I am earning from my football salary at home. It’s just not worth it.

Money spent on college a waste?

A good friend of mine asked me if I would be able to help him out today with converting coordinates into quadratic equation. *poof* My mind went completely blank. I even hopped online to see if I could nudge a nugget of my mathematical bachelors’ degree knowledge into gear. Nope! I declined to help him… felt like an ass to do so. It has been 14 years since I’ve had to even think about quadratic equations. In all my mathematical knowledge this afternoon, I’ve determined that I am getting old and forgetful.

Cheap nail polish is not worth it.

In preparation of the holiday weekend, I spent much demand time last night in giving myself (and the Little One) a manicure. I got this cool nail polish from Del Sol that changes colors whether it is in the sun or not. I thought that would be a great thing to wear this weekend seeing how we will be outdoors a lot. After the manicure, I went to bed… had to get up at 5:30 am after all this morning. Already! My nails are starting to chip… and that is with 2 top coats of clear polish. *grumbles*

Speaking of manicures, I can just imagine what the daycare sitters are thinking of today with my daughter walking in with deep dark red on her fingertips. I admit it! I gave in to her last night just so we could move on… I had very limited time. Lesson learned? Do not show the Little One all the available colors…. Oh and don’t give in to a tantrum despite time shortage. I’ll have several days of remembrance as we hang out this weekend seeing how that nail polish is apparently higher quality than the one I’ve on my nails.

I want to wish everyone a pleasant 4th of July weekend. I hope you have a wonderful and relaxing time with whatever plans that you've made for yourself.... even if relatives are involved.

Pet Peeve: Drivers who do not use their signal lights

The Hubby and I got into a discussion this morning about when a driver should use their signal light. I am under the firm belief that drivers should use their signal lights all the time. In fact, there was blatantly two times this morning drive to work that the drivers in front of me failed to use their signal light that would have been beneficial.

Situation #1 – I totally would have stayed in the right lane at a four lane intersection if I would have known that the three cars in front of me were going to be turning right on red. I didn’t even know that they were turning right at all for none of them had their signal lights on. I would have been the first car in the lane for when the light turned green. I think all drivers would agree with me that it is good to be the first one in the lane at a red light so you have the opportunity to take off at a decent speed. Instead, I had merged into the left lane to get behind the one car that I knew drive like a bat out of hell… seeing how he appeared out of no where in no time flat. Yes, he did take off decently when the light turned green…but no way did it compare to one having his/her own lane.

The Hubby disagrees with me that the other drivers should have used their signal lights. He said it was none of my business to know that they were turning right. In fact, he even went so far to say that I should have already known that they would be turning right because where the intersection is located and the time of the day it was... and what I had for breakfast and how the sun was shining and the wind wasn't blowing.... ok.. I might have added those last few factors. Now, I agree that their lack of signal light usage wasn’t going to cause an accident or even put a driver in a hairy situation (unlike Situation #2). Still! Where is the courtesy? I sure the heck don’t know! Who knows! I may have been to work a couple of minutes earlier or it could have prevented me getting in the Situation #2 down the road.

Situation #2 – On the same four lane road, I was happily driving along in the left lane in medium traffic. The car in front of me decided that they wanted to be in the right lane. Did they signal? Nope! They decided that they would slow the f*ck way down suddenly until a gap that they deemed worthy made itself known in the right lane. The Hubby agreed with me that signal light usage in this situation would have been nice…. (He also agreed with me that the driver was a dumbass and needs to learn how to properly merge.)

Now, as a driver, sit and think back… I bet there were times that you had wished that the other car would have just used their signal light! I know that I am not the only one! The Hubby even admitted that there were times in his driving experiences.

It takes like a minimal effort to turn it on and off. It’s not that difficult or taxing. However, it makes a difference in communicating to the drivers around you. Use it people!

Random thoughts

It seemed to help out a little in writing yesterday’s posting. I figure I will give it another try today.

Moving on up – We received a notice yesterday that the Little One will be “graduating” from the Toddler 3 room to the Toddler 4 room. At first, I was happy to hear the news for she is moving up to kids her own age. She was always a step behind because of being a little behind in physical development with being a preemie and all. It is a good sign for it shows that she is catching up. Now, I see the news as bittersweet… it means that my baby is growing up. Gosh, how emotional can I be!?! This doesn’t bode well on how I am going to react to her moving into High School or graduating from High School.

Calling all newspapers! – As you may have read in my previous postings, our backyard is need of a major overhaul fixin’. I need to do this with a non-existent budget. I’ve read online that newspapers are great landscaping barrier against weeds. It is inexpensive! (Bonus!) Biodegradable! (Double Bonus!) So I sent the call (er… more like email and twitter) for old newspapers from friends & colleagues. Let the fun begin! I need to get this backyard into shape before an upcoming bridal shower that is being held at the house. Besides, the weeds are starting to look formidable. They might gain up and try to devour me!

Blue – The color Blue and its various shades have always appealed to me. I find it very calming. (Not to mention, blue clothing really brings out my blue eyes when I wear them.) We opened our pool this year. I figure that it was worth the little cash to open it up for it will serve as entertainment as well as the ability to cool our butts down on those warm summer days. We do not have the air conditioner set up in our house. Since it has been two years since we have had the pool open, it wasn’t an easy opening. Unexpected problems popped up and have been taken care of. At some points, I really regret in deciding to open the pool up. Last night, coming home after a long day, I looked outside and found the pool is finally running properly. It is such a pretty shade of blue. I actually found myself exhaling a breath that I didn’t even realize I was holding.

Gas Usage - I've had the luck of getting the car during the day yesterday and today. Normally, The Hubby gets the car during the day because of when we have to start work at our respective jobs. The Hubby says that it was to help save gas. After he made a comment on how I'm not too aggressive when driving on this particular stretch of our daily commute, it got me thinking. I think the fact that we save gas is because I am not as aggressive behind the wheel as he is. I can't imagine that the route is that much shorter by starting with dropping him off rather than me. Could be wrong though!

Where my head is at…

Honestly, I am not too sure of myself and the life that I am currently leading as of late. I have been hoping that we would be “back on our feet” by now… After all, it has been over a year since The Hubby lost his job.

It is not the case.

We are constantly struggling month to month to try to keep things a float. At first, I thought we were doing a pretty decent job of juggling things. I've even been able to work on craft projects such as a wedding gift for D’Lovely and her man as well as homemade invitations for Cinnamon’s upcoming bridal shower.

However, apparently I was just fooling myself, another financial burden just revealed itself. It shouldn’t have been a surprise… I simply forgot about it. I guess I was mentally hiding it from myself.

Self-delusion is never a good thing.

Frankly, I am not sure what to do. My bag of tricks is nearly empty and we are no way closer to being stable than we were before.

I’m finding it hard to concentrate at work… or anything for that matter. It bothers me that I ... no, we... have this problem and I can’t solve it. So my thoughts are constantly running through possible solutions (such as finding a second job to bring in extra cash, to find a better paying first job) to daydreams (such as receiving an unknown inheritance falls into our laps… or we win the lottery).

I know that money doesn’t solve all … but it can certainly solve a lot.

My thoughts also turn to dwelling on the past and our decisions that we’ve made. I keep telling myself that hindsight is always 20/20 to try to move on from these useless thoughts. That appears to becoming harder and harder as well.

Staying positive is a role that I play in our marriage (and in other relationships). I try to remain strong and positive to show that we can work through any problems that life throws our way. The Hubby tends to get down relatively easily when we have a major issues. Perhaps I am naïve or conceited, but in times in the past, I think I helped us get through various tough spots by remaining positive and showing that the adage “This too shall pass” is true! I am having an extremely hard time staying positive. It is simply that I don’t see a “light at the end of the tunnel” anymore.

Honestly, I am not sure why I am revealing this in such a public format. I guess this blog is the closest thing that I have to what one would consider a diary. Some thoughts are easier to express in writing than verbally.

Perhaps now, I will at least be able to concentrate somewhat on other things for a little while.

Wordless Wednesday

Operation Swing Set? Accomplished!

Before the drama of the missing Dottie took over the evening, I came home to the sound and smell of cut lumber. I don't know what it is... but I love the smell of wood being cut. My father-in-law, "Papa", and a good friend of ours had spent the afternoon in measuring, cutting, and drilling the lumber that was purchased earlier in the day for this weekend project.

We went to bed that night with everything all set up and prepped to go for the next day. Our friendly helpers were scheduled to start arriving around 10 - 11 am.

Saturday morning, I swept up the deck, washed the patio furniture, and helped set up the beer coolers.

Little One inspecting my work.

Our helpers started to arrive and with their arrival, the work began.

Everyone pitched in... Even "Edward"!

The project went along pretty smooth. There was only one quick run to the local Home Depot to buy a little additional lumber due to a miscalculation that was discovered the day before.

It gave us a much needed rest and time for a beer. We also took this time to fire up the grill and set out the delicious food that everyone prepared and brought.

Every aspect of the swing set was thoroughly tested and inspected by the Little One.

Slide? Check!

Swing? Check!

The swing set was completed well before sunset. The adults even took a turn or two on the swings! Overall, Operation Swing Set was a huge success!

I would like to extend a huge sincere thank you to all our family and friends that help make this happen. The Little One is completely and utterly ecstatic about her new swing set. The Hubby and I literally could not have done this without you. Thank you!

Dottie’s little shopping excursion

Who is “Dottie” you may ask? Dottie is my Little One’s beloved stuffed friend.

Dottie was a toy that we purchased for $3 out of a clearance bin in Toys R Us a few months ago. The stuffed animal is a cross between a pig and a cow that is white with pink polka dots. If we would have known that Dottie was going to be our daughter’s BFF, we would have totally bought two of her!

Advice for new parents – If you find that your child is particularly fond of a stuffed animal, I highly recommend that you buy more than one. This way you can swap them when it’s time for the stuffed animal to have a “bath”, etc.

To get ready for Operation Swing Set weekend, The Hubby, Little One, and Dottie went shopping at the local Wal-Mart with “Memaw”, “TT”, and “Baby Tre” this past Friday. Apparently, the shopping trip was quite eventful and perhaps a bit stressful for the adults. Somehow in the confusion of everything, Dottie was left behind. (Insert menacing organ music here)

Realizing what happened; The Hubby immediately went back to Wal-Mart to try to rescue Dottie from retail hell. He searched high and low in the store and the parking lot to no avail. He even had a page sent out to all the store associates in hopes that someone may have found it. No such luck. In the meantime, we are searching the house to make sure Dottie didn’t sneak into one of the grocery bags. Luckily, the Little One was easily distracted from Dottie’s absence by “Papa” and family friends.

The Hubby returned home devastated and defeated. We took a big breath and slowly came to the realization that we are going to have to deliver the first bad news in our Little One’s young life. Both of us didn’t look forward to having to explain to the Little One about her now lost BFF.
Honestly, the Little One took it like a champ. I think it was because she was completely exhausted from the activities and company. She merely asked for Dottie… we explained that Dottie was left behind at the store. Or perhaps she knew that her little friend would return home. Who knows! I can tell you that we were certainly grateful for her calm reaction. That night, we searched on EBay to find another “Dottie”. We found something similar but not quite the same. We ordered it out of parental desperation… thinking that the animal may be close enough in appearance to be at least a comfort to the Little One. We even had a brief back story created on how this new friend was Dottie’s cousin.

Alas, time didn’t stop. Operation Swing Set went ahead and was completed (more on that in a different post).

Wouldn’t you know it? “Memaw” found Dottie on Sunday! Just by chance, she decided to do some light grocery shopping to get the items that were missed on Friday while the rest of us were in nearby Target. She checked with the Customer Service desk for the Lost & Found but no luck. So, she went ahead with her shopping all the while keeping a look out for the missing BFF. She discovered Dottie face down in one of those open freezer chests in the meat section of the store. Hallelujah!

When we returned to the car, the Little One found Dottie sitting in her car seat. The look of happiness and delight was plainly seen across our daughter’s face as she gives Dottie a big bear hug.

And just like that… all is right in the world once again.

Operation Swing Set

Yes, today marks the day where Operation Swing Set begins for our household. As you read from previous posts, The Hubby and I (with the help of our friends) were clearing and setting up a place in our backyard for the Little One to get a swing set from her grandparents.

Tonight, a chainsaw wielding friend of ours is popping by our house to help take out more of the leftover tree stump. We are hoping to get it low enough that the stump will be below ground level. Therefore, it will no longer be a tripping hazard for running children.

Boulder status? Well, he is still in our yard. Yes, it has been determined that the boulder is a male and that his name is “Edward”. We have had some inquiries about people wanting to “adopt” Edward but once we sent a picture of him… we have not heard back from those people. Poor Edward... He’s going to start getting a complex.

Since Edward will be staying with us, Plan B has been instituted by the grandparents. Plan B involves expanding the slide platform so that it will fit over the boulder and the rest of the swing set will be built off of that. They have ordered three packages to be delivered to our house directly. The first of those packages arrived last night. We found a yellow plastic slide and components to a baby swing by our garage door. The other two packages should arrive over the next 2 or 3 days.

The Hubby’s homework assignment is to find a 16 ft treated 4x6 and somehow get it to our house. It should prove to be difficult since we are currently driving a Mercury Tracer.

**Note: This is not our particular car… but really close!

The grandparents will be arriving at the house very late Wednesday night (or early Thursday morning). The swing set construction will begin on Friday and last throughout the weekend. The grandparents are schedule to depart for home on Monday morning. It’s a “Slam! Bam! Thank you Ma’am!” type of trip.

The weather seems to be clearing up nicely for this weekend. The Hubby and I are thinking of throwing a BBQ together to help feed the people who are helping with this project… or at least provide the meat for said BBQ.

I’ll try to remember to take pictures during the production. For now, I’ll leave you a “before” picture of the yard.

Let Operation Swing Set Begin!

Wordless Wednesday

Quite the weekend!

The weekend started off wonderfully when The Hubby was able to get off work early on Friday. He went grocery shopping while I was still at work and the Little One was still at daycare. Bonus! I hate shopping. (I’m sure that I mentioned that before.) Grocery shopping is pain in the ass. The Hubby has a knack for it… he can remember prices so he knows whether Wal-Mart or the local grocery store will have the better deal. So, normally, grocery shopping trips consist of me pushing the cart with the Little One, being her 2 year old self, following The Hubby around the store. Anyways, I digress… Friday night was a nice relaxing evening at home. Definite good start!

On Saturday, I got a good dose of girl time by going to D’Lovely’s bachelorette party. We started off getting manicures and pedicures which is always relaxing. I even had a nail technician that didn’t laugh when he saw my nails and could carry on a good conversation! Yea for me! Next, we all went to the Melting Pot for dinner.

If you haven’t been, it is quite the experience. We went all out and did the “Big Night Out” for our table. Talk about a lot of food! And delicious too! The picture above is the Ying & Yang Chocolate dessert before we massacre it with our fondue forks. If I was to go there as an individual, I would stick to the cheese fondue course, the salad, and the dessert course. The main course was delicious but it didn’t quite match the levels of the other courses. Just sayin’.

It was a wonderful time to hang out with my girls… and that’s not the Exotic Mojitos talking either. Cute~Ella did a great job putting the party together.

On Sunday, The Hubby (much to his chagrin) and I tackled the corner of our backyard to try to get it ready for the swing set. I mentioned the project here. Unfortunately, I did not have the forethought to take a “before” picture. However, here’s a look of the “after” picture.

Yes, that is the boulder that we would like to be removed. Unfortunately, we have not found a way to get rid of it without spending hefty amount of $. The Hubby is still trying though! We even put an ad on Craig’s List in hopes to finding an option. In the meantime, I am researching what is the best stuff to put on the ground under the swing set to help prevent injuries from falling. Needless to say, we are making progress. After this playground project, I will be tackling the evil of weeds and get back our yard from its clenches.

Oh! And the pool people are coming out next week to start the process of opening up our pool. I definitely see BBQ parties in our future!

Stop taxing / banning foods please?

As you can see from my short blog history, I am not normally one that goes into a rant about some political topic or another. In fact, you probably find me more knowledgeable about Kate & Jon Gosselin or Jesse James / Sandra Bullock’s divorce than topics in the political arena.

However now and then, certain things do break in my “Ignorance is bliss” aura such as the article that prompted this posting:

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/local/south_bay&id=7408403

Seriously? How on earth is the fact that the little toys being banned from certain kids meals going to stop me (or any other parent) from buying that meal for my kid (our children)? You are basically stopping the kid from getting a toy. The parents are still going to buy the food… it’s fast, it’s cheap, and let’s face it… for the most part… it is yummy. Don’t the politicians have better issues to spend their time and energy on? If not, I just might move to that particular county for I am sure it will be positively heavenly if this is the only issue affecting their citizens.

How about the proposed sugary beverage tax that my home state is dealing with? This is getting ridiculous! Personally, I stick to the diet sodas if I even find myself drinking something other than water. However, I would not think to make a “neighbor” to pay more because they like the non-diet soda. It is their choice if they want to drink that stuff. Where does it stop? Next, are they going to increase tax on white bread because wheat / whole grain is better for you?

If you want us to make better decisions about our food choices, just make sure that the information is readily available. For example, I personally like that the certain restaurants around here has the caloric information listed on their menus but how about the other information such as fat or fiber information. It doesn’t have to be on the menu but be available if a customer asks for it. Or, how about offering incentives to businesses to come up with healthier choices for their clientele... Or, help lower the costs of the healthier food in the stores such as fresh produce (without raising the cost of non healthy). Get the health information out there to the average citizen... such as the food pyramid or serving sizes… we learned that stuff back in high school health class. I, for one can tell you, had forgotten all about that information until I started with Weight Watchers a few years ago.

Give me the information and research… but don’t remove my right to choose!

Wordless Wednesday

A bit sore…

Finally, we were given a day of beautiful weather where I was not hindered by other plans. I was able to tackle the initial spring yard clean-up. The result?

• I’m sore!!!!
  
• Came to the realization that I need to do yard work with a tube top and shorts so that I don’t end up with an embarrassing tan lines for the upcoming fall wedding that I am participating in.
  
• Oh… and the yard looks decent. Although, I think our yard would still be considered the “black sheep” of the neighborhood.
  
• I’ve also determined that the people on our street have entirely too much time on their hands to have such perfect lawns.

On Saturday, if you were following me, you would have seen me outside raking the dead grass, mowing the live grass, and spreading lawn fertilizer on our postage stamp of a yard.

There is still so much work to be done. There is some serious landscaping on our “postage stamp” from previous home owners. Unfortunately, they did not stay on top of the upkeep of this landscaping. (Probably because they knew they would be selling the house and it’s a hassle.) The Hubby and I also have failed in doing such during the few years that we have had the house.

First priority for me is to create an area in the backyard that our Little One can play. Thanks to a really good friend, a couple of huge bushes were removed before winter set in. Now that it is spring, we need to finish cleaning up that particular area (as well as the rest of the land).

Now, we have even more incentive to get this task completed for the grandparents would like to buy the Little One a swing set. This area is the only place that can handle such a thing. Now, you will get to witness our journey in restoring a beautiful yard. (Okay, beautiful may be pushing it… how about a “not so ragged” looking yard? Yeah, that works.)

With the huge bushes gone, there are some few major steps that we need to do:

• Get rid of a huge boulder. We are not exactly sure how to do this. We are hoping that a local landscaper may want it and would be willing to extract it from our yard in exchange of having such a piece of landscaping gold in their possession.
  
• Get rid of the damaged wooden borders and old bark pieces.
  
• Once all of that is done, we need to level the area by filling in dips or flattening bumps.

Has anyone done this before? Are we missing something? Any suggestions on how to get rid of a 70 x 60 x 30 in boulder?

Comments/Suggestions welcomed!

Wanted: Magic Mirror

Do you ever find yourself in a moment or situation that you wish you had an all-knowing guide to give you a glimpse of what lies ahead?

Obviously, we would still want our choice but it would be nice to know what lies ahead if you make a certain decision… even if it is just a short outlook.

I know that each person should live their lives so that they have no regrets. I would say for the most part, I have led such a life. However, I can still look back in my life and say to myself “Wow… Magic Mirror could have warned me about that person who will eventually backstab me in the back… or tell me that the employer is going to suck… or hell… that your Little One is going to arrive into this world a whole month early”.

Instead, we are left to our own devices on how to proceed in this world.

Is there a moment that you wish you had a heads up on? Or at least an outlook what is to come?

Wordless Wednesday

Cleaning out the closet...

I am no means a clothes whore... I think any of my friends would stand up and confirm this for you. In fact, I just finally tossed away a pair of brown dress shoes that I wore all the freakin time for they finally died on me. (In fact, they died some time ago but I had refused to accept it and continue to wear them despite the weird noise they made when I walked.)

Reason? I hate shopping. I do! Part of it is that I never have the extra cash... but honestly? That is just a small part. Proof? I received gift certificates to clothing stores for my birthday last year. I just got around to using two of them this past weekend... almost 6 months later.

I hate shopping because I never know what to buy, I hate having to jump into the hustle n' bustle at the malls, etc. It's quite sad really.

So in part of getting out of this funk, I decided to go through my meager clothing collection and get rid of the "dead weight". I removed my old maternity clothes (to go into storage), clothes that are too big (For some reason, I kept clothes from my previous sizes... can someone say crutch?), and clothes that I do not wear. period. What I had left? Not much! That's for sure!

I dug out some of my birthday gift certificates and convinced "Cinnamon" to go shopping with me. (Trust me... It didn't require any arm twisting. She is very much the shopper. Besides, she got to torture me earlier in the day with dress shopping). I found a couple of great items to put in my closet! Not to mention, a replacement pair of shoes.

I will finally build up my warddrobe again from this "massacre"... even it is just one piece at a time.

Is this a sign that I am getting old?

This past Saturday, I spent the day with some of the lovely ladies that I am lucky to be friends with.

The first part of the day, I was shopping for matron of honor dress with “Cinnamon” for her upcoming nuptials this fall. We headed into one of the local bridal boutiques that proved to have a helpful and courteous staff in the past. Now, like some of the other shops, this boutique also caters to prom shoppers for the local high schools.

Now, there is nothing like being reminded that I haven’t been to a prom in *coughs* 18 years *coughs* by watching skinny beautiful teenage girls shopping for prom dresses. I highly recommend it. It’s a great way to take stock in ones’ life. (Yes, that was said/typed in a sarcastic manner.)

I seriously think that I might have sprouted a gray hair or two when I look at some of the dresses that are “in” for this prom season!! Now, some of them can be considered to be more of a princess theme. Although, I didn’t care for them… I could completely see why a girl would want to wear them to a prom. However, I could not… correction … can not see… who or why would some girl would want to wear a dress to her prom that looks like a nightie!! Let alone some parent that would let their offspring wear it.

I kid you not… see exhibit #1:
And exhibit #2:

(Sorry for the poor photography… I was taking it with my camera phone.)

I honestly thought that I walked into the wrong section of the store! There was also a tank top, skin tight, mini purple dress that had a zipper down the front of the dress from top to bottom. I just couldn’t bring myself to take its picture. I guess I do have my limits.

I can imagine what will be going through their young date’s mind come the big day for I’m pretty sure those same thoughts were going through my head and I don’t even “play on that team”!

Needless to say, my daughter will have a heck of a fight on her hands when it comes time for her to go shopping for a prom dress. These types of dresses are already off the list!!

Am I alone here? Or am I finally getting “old”?

Oh Peanut Butter... How I've missed you!

Yes, I am still trying to lose these remaining few pounds. In fact, I would have hit my goal and then some if I would just lose the weight rather than gain it, lose it, gain it, and lose it once again. If being skinny was easy, we would all be skinny and bitch about something else, right?

Anyways, like most people that are trying to lose weight, I've basically cut certain trigger foods out of my life. It is just simpler that way... out of sight -> out of mind!

My wonderful MIL came for a brief visit this past weekend on her way to a conference. She will be coming back to the house for a longer visit tonight in fact. However, that is beside the point. The reason I am telling you this is that she brought some goodies with her... and one of these wonderful goodies is Better n' Butter. OH MY GOD!! Talk about yummy! And!!! It is good for you!

(For those on Weight Watchers, you can use 2 Tbsps for 2 points.)

I toasted up a Bagel Thins and slather on the Better n' Butter.... voila! I'm in gooey peanut butter heaven!

I didn't realize how much I have missed peanut butter! Now, I've been trying not to eat up my MIL's stash. Lucky for her, I ran out of Bagel Thins this morning... because lord knows I'm not sure if my will power would be enough to hold me back!

No, I haven’t quite forgotten…

I know it has been quite some time since I’ve posted anything to this blog. You really are not missing too much… it would have been posts complaining about the lack of money, the cold weather, and the lack of money. Aren’t you glad that I refrained from posting about such things? I thought so. You can thank me later if you want. I wouldn’t mind.

So why now? I guess you can blame it on the warmer weather… or perhaps that it is almost that time of month (tmi? Sorry!) Who knows! Who cares!

I am basically trying to break myself out of this funk. I’m tired of the same ol’ shit. So, to keep me on track (or focus) I decided to dust off the blog once again so that I have some public accountability to keep me in line.

So feel free to express yourself in the comments! I would love to hear from you…. Even if it is just The Hubby who reads this for he feels pity for his wife and her lifeless blog. :)