Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Being the "Bad Guy" is a lonely place to be...

Despite what some people may think or feel, I do not like being the “Bad Guy”. I really don’t. However, there comes a time and a place where everyone one has to be.

Unfortunately, last night, it was my time to be. Like many Americans lately, money is way too tight right now. For the last few months, we have been working hard on catching up on our payments and paying off little debts. It is/was a lot of work and sacrifice for each of us.

There is a trip coming up to a place that I never been here in the USA. I love to travel and feel like I don’t get to go on trips hardly at all for various reasons. However, I don’t think we are going to be able to pull off this trip because this lack of extra funds. I know that this may seem minor to some for people are sacrificing more fundamental things such as food or shelter. For us, it is a big deal.

The one sacrifice that I am not willing to make in order to go on this trip? The hard work that The Hubby and I did the last few months to try to catch ourselves up. This trip will definitely set us back to where we were a few months ago. It will sacrifice the small enjoyments around our home such as the pool opening or even put a damper the future trips coming up this summer & fall. This decision kills me. I haven’t had the opportunity to travel in months (and no, I am not counting the trip to Potsdam, NY this past February).

I think the thing that bothers me the most is that I do not have The Hubby’s agreement on this. Don’t get me wrong. He understands where we stand and all. It is a logical decision but it is lack of understanding in his heart that I don’t have. It is that that caused me to feel so awkward this morning. It is that lack of understanding which made me feel like the “Bad Guy” all alone. Right now, instead of “Us” vs. “The World”, it feels like it is me vs. “The World” & The Hubby.

It is not a good feeling.

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