As always, thoughts of my mother come to the forefront around this time of the year. As of yesterday, it has been 13 years since my mom passed away unexpectedly. To say that such a dramatic event had no affect on me would be a complete utter lie. I must admit though that these thoughts tend to be more sad/depressing during the “big moments” of my life. .. such as my college graduation and my wedding.
Little One makes this year a little harder to bear the absence of my mom. She is missing the amazing little achievements that Little One is experiencing and developing during her first year on this planet. My MIL is a terrific lady and I am certainly blessed to have such a wonderful woman in my life. However, you can understand how it just doesn’t quite replace the absence.
I also find that doubts are popping up more this time. Questions such as “Am I going to be able to tell stories to Little One in such a way that she would feel that she knows her late grandmother?” or “Am I going to be a good mom?” are running through my mind lately. The Hubby and I incorporated my mother’s name into Little One’s name so that some small part of her will always be with the baby. It was The Hubby’s idea to which will be a constant reminder of why I love him.
To my mother… I love you and miss you. I hope it is true what they say about our loved ones looking down upon us from time to time. I don’t want you to miss a single moment of our lives.